Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Scene Four
SCENE 4. RESTAURANT. LUNCHTIME.
ALAN: Hi Diana! Have you been waiting long?
DIANA: No, I just got here; I had a meeting nearby.
ALAN: So that's why the suit.
DIANA: Oh no, I always dress like this for work. Makes sure you're taken seriously.
ALAN: You used to have long hair.
DIANA: Unfortunately, men seem to think that long hair is incompatible with managerial ability. I found I could be a martyr or get on - I chose to get on. (PAUSE) What happened to yours, Alan?
ALAN: God knows - down the drain, literally! Still, you know what they say about bald men being more virile.
DIANA: Well I know that's what bald men say! (LAUGHS) Shall we order? Are you still a vegetarian?
ALAN: Not really, no. What's the word for a vegetarian who eats fish and white meat?
DIANA: I don't know - a hypocrite?
(THEY LAUGH)
ALAN: Actually I just get fed up with Mushroom Stogranoff. I was talking to someone at college about this. He's in the Catering department: Food Management, I think it's called now. You know that wherever you go they have the same menu - well it's not just the same dish, it comes out of the same machine. There's three factories that produce frozen meals sent to all the pubs, hotels and cafes in the country. Catering these days is how to open a packet. So when I eat out I go for the breakfast stuff - that's still fresh.
DIANA: But it's always been like that. Somerset Maugham said that if you wanted to dine well in England, you should eat three breakfasts.
ALAN: How did you know that? I thought I was the one that read books.
DIANA: You don't really know me, do you? You had that vision of me as some pre-Raphaelite figure, dreamily drifting through the world.
ALAN: But you were; well, I thought so. (PAUSE) I was so stupid, I'm sorry.
DIANA: About that party? Don't be.
ALAN: But I must have hurt you so much!
DIANA: Oh Alan, are you still beating yourself up about it? We were young and foolish; we had some fun and moved on. It's what happens. It's called life. Aren't you happy now?
ALAN: Yeah, I am, I think. But I still feel bad about us. About what I did.
DIANA: I said, I don't blame you. Didn't at the time, actually: we were kids. I had met someone when I was on holiday, too. I think fidelity's something you have to learn at that age! So I wasn't really traumatised, don't worry. (PAUSE) But this is about you, really, isn't it?
ALAN: I suppose so. You know what it's like when you think "This is who I am. This is what I've done". And to think I carelessly threw away something so special…
DIANA: I don't know if this makes you feel better, but it wasn't this Great Passion. Not for me. You idealised me, you never knew me. I remember you used to hate it when you saw me working in the shop. You didn't like me to been involved in real life.
ALAN: Hmm, I suppose I might have thought that. It wasn't in a bad way, though.
DIANA: No, I know. But look at me: I am organised, efficient, assertive. I'm not what you thought, am I?
ALAN: No, I suppose not.
ALAN: Hi Diana! Have you been waiting long?
DIANA: No, I just got here; I had a meeting nearby.
ALAN: So that's why the suit.
DIANA: Oh no, I always dress like this for work. Makes sure you're taken seriously.
ALAN: You used to have long hair.
DIANA: Unfortunately, men seem to think that long hair is incompatible with managerial ability. I found I could be a martyr or get on - I chose to get on. (PAUSE) What happened to yours, Alan?
ALAN: God knows - down the drain, literally! Still, you know what they say about bald men being more virile.
DIANA: Well I know that's what bald men say! (LAUGHS) Shall we order? Are you still a vegetarian?
ALAN: Not really, no. What's the word for a vegetarian who eats fish and white meat?
DIANA: I don't know - a hypocrite?
(THEY LAUGH)
ALAN: Actually I just get fed up with Mushroom Stogranoff. I was talking to someone at college about this. He's in the Catering department: Food Management, I think it's called now. You know that wherever you go they have the same menu - well it's not just the same dish, it comes out of the same machine. There's three factories that produce frozen meals sent to all the pubs, hotels and cafes in the country. Catering these days is how to open a packet. So when I eat out I go for the breakfast stuff - that's still fresh.
DIANA: But it's always been like that. Somerset Maugham said that if you wanted to dine well in England, you should eat three breakfasts.
ALAN: How did you know that? I thought I was the one that read books.
DIANA: You don't really know me, do you? You had that vision of me as some pre-Raphaelite figure, dreamily drifting through the world.
ALAN: But you were; well, I thought so. (PAUSE) I was so stupid, I'm sorry.
DIANA: About that party? Don't be.
ALAN: But I must have hurt you so much!
DIANA: Oh Alan, are you still beating yourself up about it? We were young and foolish; we had some fun and moved on. It's what happens. It's called life. Aren't you happy now?
ALAN: Yeah, I am, I think. But I still feel bad about us. About what I did.
DIANA: I said, I don't blame you. Didn't at the time, actually: we were kids. I had met someone when I was on holiday, too. I think fidelity's something you have to learn at that age! So I wasn't really traumatised, don't worry. (PAUSE) But this is about you, really, isn't it?
ALAN: I suppose so. You know what it's like when you think "This is who I am. This is what I've done". And to think I carelessly threw away something so special…
DIANA: I don't know if this makes you feel better, but it wasn't this Great Passion. Not for me. You idealised me, you never knew me. I remember you used to hate it when you saw me working in the shop. You didn't like me to been involved in real life.
ALAN: Hmm, I suppose I might have thought that. It wasn't in a bad way, though.
DIANA: No, I know. But look at me: I am organised, efficient, assertive. I'm not what you thought, am I?
ALAN: No, I suppose not.
# posted by Martin Locock @ 5:04 AM 
